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Finding a gay or LGBTQ-friendly hotel while traveling isn’t always easy. I use these 5 steps when looking for accommodation when traveling to make sure I’m staying somewhere comfortable where I know I’m welcome
We made our way from the train station to our hotel—an easy walk through the old town. I’m the type of traveler that might splurge on a nicer hotel but I’m still going to walk everywhere or take public transportation to get around.
The hotel was self-described as a boutique design hotel, but as soon as we walked up to the property entrance, we were a little surprised. A large Christian cross was outside, standing about 10-feet tall by the hotel entrance.
This was in Poland, so that wasn’t totally out of the ordinary, but in my mind, I immediately thought: okay, here we go. I wasn’t necessarily nervous, but I figured I should be a little more mindful than usual. My boyfriend and I had booked a room with a single bed—we’d been careful to make sure we’d booked it because, well, we wanted to sleep together.
Check-in at the hotel was fine. We were given our keys,
shown where breakfast was, and then we walked upstairs to our room. It was a
small hotel, maybe no more than 20 rooms. And as soon as I walked into the
bedroom, that feeling of despair and angst settled in. We’d been given a room
with two beds.
My boyfriend looked at me. This wasn’t what we had booked.
We hadn’t traveled together too much at this point, but when we had, we’d never
had trouble with our hotel bookings.
The “two beds or one” question is one that LGBTQ travelers have been discussing for decades. Years ago, two men or two women checking into a hotel might have just secretly pushed their beds together or cuddled up in a small single.
Of course that’s what we could’ve done, but I’m VERY stubborn. My boyfriend and I stood there in the room and had a full 5-minute conversation about the situation.
“It’s not that big of a deal. It’s only two nights,” he
said. “But if you want, we can ask them.”
It was then a discussion of whether we should go downstairs and talk directly with them. Or do we just call reception and ask about the mix-up? We debated whether we felt comfortable enough to confront them. In my mind, that large cross outside weighing on my decision.
I’ll be the first to admit I can be a bit naïve when traveling. I inherently trust people, for better or worse. I use my instincts, of course, but after almost a decade of traveling full-time, my experiences abroad have been largely positive.
Even in this situation with our hotel in Poland, I didn’t know if it was some veiled anti-gay thing, or if it was just a mix-up in the booking. It’s impossible to know, of course.
When I did finally call down to reception to explain that
we’d requested a single bed, we were told that we had been given the last room
and there were none available. There was no apology, but no direct malice in
the receptionist’s voice, either. And like my boyfriend said, it was only for
two nights.
Truthfully, it wasn’t the end of the world for us. But here’s the thing: those brief moments of anxiety and worry, and the awkward conversation I had to have with reception put a palpable but brief damper on our holiday weekend. And it’s something a lot of LGBTQ travelers have to deal with—and in varying degrees.
Read other gay travel stories & tips
These days, finding LGBTQ-friendly accommodation is largely just a small gamble because most major tourism destinations today across every continent are at least aware of LGBTQ travelers and try to be as welcoming as possible for foreigners.
Oftentimes, as a foreigner, you’re even granted more flexibility and rights than locals. (Note: that’s not always the case and some destinations like Dubai have gone so far as to prosecute LGBTQ tourists according to local laws. Check sites like Equaldex.com and the U.S. State Department’s travel advisories for on-the-ground insight to stay safe.)
Most major hotel groups have global directives to be welcoming for their guests. And they also provide LGBTQ-inclusivity training. Marriott, Hilton, Accor, InterContinental, Starwood. The big brands are almost always going to be the safest options.
Unfortunately they’re not always the most fun hotels as they sometimes lack the local flavor of a boutique design property. Design Hotels, HotelTonight, and TAG-approved properties include more independent properties, but unfortunately don’t offer options in every city or country. That’s why in the more far-off destinations, sticking to the major hotel chains is usually safest and most comfortable.
LGBTQ travelers don’t need a lot from hotels, but what we want shouldn’t be hard to come by. The check-in process should be seamless (and our requests shouldn’t be questioned). We should feel invited and welcome into the hotel just as anyone else. That can be done at every stage of the hotel booking process.
A hotel could and should include LGBTQ imagery part of their website and marketing. They should feel comfortable advertising and promoting LGBTQ special offers year-round (not just during the pride season). Hotel concierges should be aware of notable LGBTQ tourist sights, or at the very least provide useful LGBTQ resources and local maps when possible. Hotels offering romantic packages shouldn’t assume guests are looking for his/her-labeled amenities.
Top LGBTQ-Friendly Cities and Hotels Around the World
Planning an LGBTQ+-friendly vacation can sometimes feel overwhelming, especially when trying to find places that truly celebrate diversity and inclusivity. That’s where Vio.com steps in as your trusted travel companion. This intuitive tool helps you quickly find accommodations where you can feel at ease, making it easier to book with confidence.
According to Vio.com’s data, here are some of the most welcoming cities for LGBTQ+ travelers, offering diverse and inclusive hotel options:
- Berlin, Germany: Known for its vibrant LGBTQ+ scene, especially in the Schöneberg district, Berlin is a haven for queer travelers (e.g. Orania.Berlin Hotel, TWO Hotel Berlin, etc.). The city’s inclusive spirit ensures a wide selection of LGBTQ+-friendly hotels where you can feel right at home.
- Amsterdam, Netherlands: This historic city is famous for its open-mindedness and has plenty of LGBTQ+-friendly hotels, particularly around the picturesque canals. Amsterdam is a long-standing champion of LGBTQ+ rights.
- San Francisco, USA: As the heart of LGBTQ+ culture, the Castro District is a must-visit. Here, you’ll find numerous welcoming hotels, ensuring a cozy stay in one of the most inclusive cities in the world.
- Barcelona, Spain: The “Gaixample” district is a vibrant area filled with LGBTQ+-friendly accommodations and nightlife. Enjoy this city’s mix of culture, beaches, and inclusive spaces.
- Lisbon, Portugal: A rising star in the LGBTQ+ travel scene, Lisbon offers charming boutique hotels that cater specifically to LGBTQ+ visitors, making it a perfect getaway spot.
- U.S. Cities (Portland, Palm Springs, New York, Los Angeles, San Diego, Miami, Boston, Orlando, Washington DC): The USA offers over 50K 5-star resorts and hotels, especially in cities like Orlando and Miami (Hotel Gaythering) which are known for their welcoming atmospheres and vibrant LGBTQ+ communities.
With a specialized filter to locate LGBTQ+-friendly hotels, Vio.com makes sure your travel experience is safe, welcoming, and stress-free. Inclusivity is on the rise worldwide, with more destinations in Eastern Europe, Asia, and Latin America now offering LGBTQ+-friendly hotels, especially around major festivals and events. For a more personalized experience, Vio.com goes beyond the big hotel chains, highlighting boutique and independent hotels that are LGBTQ+-certified and highly rated by the community.
How to find an LGBTQ-friendly hotel when traveling
Gay travelers are assumed to have and to spend more money on
travel (especially accommodation) than other travelers, but we’re not all the
same. Every trip I take is a little bit different in how I prioritize my time
and my budget.
If I’m visiting a place for a festival or a gay pride event, I choose where I stay based on the location. If I’m looking to explore the gay bars and nightlife of a new city, I’m going to choose to stay in the gayborhood. That’s why the first step I take in finding a gay-friendly hotel is step (1) searching Google to find the best area to stay for that specific trip—whether that’s in the hipster neighborhood, the gayborhood, or something convenient to my itinerary.
Step (2): I’ll look for hotels, Airbnbs, or house sits in that same area—usually using the searchable maps available on booking platforms like Booking, HotelsCombined, Trusted Housesitters, or Hotels.com.
Part of that process and step (3) is to also search Google for any gay hotels that might show up in search results. I’ve found gay-specific hotels in cities all over the world, from a gay resort in San Jose, Costa Rica, a gay hotel in Sevilla, a gay hostel in Berlin, and a semi-clothing-optional gay hotel in Puerto Rico….
If any of those gay properties seem especially appealing, step (4) is to check the prices and recent photos directly on their website. And bonus: oftentimes you’ll find the best rates when booking direct with a property.
Before booking, however, step (5) is to check the reviews and ratings across booking platforms (whether Google Map reviews or on the hotel booking engines).
Truthfully, I haven’t necessarily managed to stay in a gay-only property that was better-maintained than any other hipster hotel. I want to support LGBTQ-owned businesses, but with limited time and money for my holidays, I also want to make sure my hotel is going to be tip-top.
After booking, you’re basically on your own and won’t know
how the hotel is going to be until you get there. But taking those initial
steps before booking can help ensure you find more friendly and open
accommodation. It might take more time during the planning stage of your trip,
but in the end you’ll have better experiences.
That weekend in Poland ended up being a lot of fun. We drank a lot of beer, ate a lot of pierogi, and had a great time at the arts festival we were visiting. We may not have had a big bed to share, but we decided not to let the experience ruin our weekend anything beyond that first bit.
It was a learning experience for us, however. Sometimes when you want a romantic weekend, you’ve just got to go deeper when researching where to stay. If you don’t spend the time doing the travel research, there’s little more you can do.
Unfortunately for gay travelers, we’ve just got to prepare a bit more to ensure our needs and interests are met while traveling with a partner.
Looking for more LGBTQ travel tips? Start here, and join my Facebook community of LGBTQ Travelers.